top of page

Holy Guacamole, the love bunnies are at it again...

Warning...This is a serious comment.

No sooner had the melodic and mellifluous vows wafted into the ether, carrying with them the noble and romantic aspirations of all the love bunnies, than the Gods of reality TV struck back with vengeance. No Prisoners!

As predicted, emotional disappointment and frustrations, coupled with disbelief in most of the matches, started to take grip. At the first dinner party, following the formulaic path, the ‘love Titanic’ hit the iceberg right on queue. Alcohol fueled eruptions soon commanded the dinner table conversations. Miss matched couples arrived, one pair separately, and many others desperately holding onto this fiction but mostly resigned to the farce.

Now a veteran viewer of vomit TV, even I was appalled at the simply outrageous stunt imposed by the ‘experts’ during the course of the week.

Posing as some mystical tool for psychological insight, the love bunnies were asked to place “in order of attraction” photographs of their fellow bunnies and to disclose the ranking of their betrothed within the group. Only 3 couples graciously placed their opposite number at number one. The rest, in what was nothing more than contrived “honesty” ranked their partner at various ends of the physical spectrum. If this exercise was designed to identify those couples who saw their betrothed as a true match of eclectic attraction, it failed dismally. How could it be justifiable having regard to the hurt and anguish caused by undertaking such an exercise literally a day after the honeymoons had ended?

Einstein, aka John ‘let me mansplain it’ Aiken, scoffed “we’ve never done this before” and perhaps upon sober reflection, they might mercifully never do it again.

But… it makes great TV, or does it? Do we truly enjoy the visual spectacle of humiliation and degradation? My heart reached out to Melissa who continually suffers under an avalanche of emotional abuse inflicted by her brain dead partner. Honestly, in the immortal words of Pauline Hansen, can any of the “experts” please explain how an invitation to rank your partner against the physical attractiveness of the other contestants could be seen as a legitimate exercise in emotional and spiritual bonding?

I will leave it to you to decide whether emotional cruelty on this scale is justifiable.

I thought it was also particularly telling at the dinner party how the love Hares (male bunnies) were so dumb as to not realise that they were being recorded when they had their boy banter?

"Awwwwww….who is the hottest chick???". Hmmm so spiritually lifting...

The producers now introduce the concept of the “straying eye” and now the dramatic premise demands an “affair”. Somehow Coco finds her way to Cam’s apartment for a “heart to heart”. I felt desperately sad for Coco as I readily identify as a similar personality type and have often used “a big personality” as a subterfuge for a vulnerable and traumatised heart. All she wants, and all she has wanted is a man to say, “you are beautiful in my eyes.” Regrettably pigs will fly before such words will be spontaneously uttered by her brain dead dunderhead husband bunny.

So Coco is testing the waters with Cameron who is also struggling with his love bunny. It appears that this season's first affair is about to explode. I for one am not at all critical of either of them. They are searching for attraction and validation amidst a sea full of turds.

However, as in real life, no one wins in an affair. No doubt we will see the wreckage revealed in all its gore soon enough. Despite a counselling session with Einstein there appears to be no hope for Cam and Sam, Einstein’s counselling is as inept as his match making.

I would end this blog with the comment that the antics of Patrick and Belinda are totally refreshing . Holy guacamole, tomatoes and carrots and vegemite sandwich to boot! He is the reincarnation of Robin circa 1966.

To see two young people who have lived life in relative innocence, if not naivety, in regard to the art of love slowly grow as a couple in self discovery is disarmingly charming. I hope that they can stay true to each other and not fall victim to directorial sabotage.

Is MAFS turning into the hunger game of romantic survival? I wondered this as Einstein intervened again to help MAFS couple Harry and Megan regain their MOJO.

Never give up on love - JD


bottom of page