To all of my wonderful readers of BURNT you would know I have dated at least one woman who was significantly younger than myself. Let me put it on the record that I do not look for “younger trophy” girlfriends, never have and never will. Simone just turned up in my life and I fell madly in love with her. Many men do wish to date younger women as a matter of choice. Just as many young women desire a more mature companion. Let’s not be judgmental in relation to the motivation for this choice but let us equally be realistic and alive to one of the most powerful primordial urges created in such relationships.
Every woman that I have dated is already a mother or wants to become one. This has been my experience and I wish to make no comment which would induce feminists to form a negative opinion of me. I am just expressing my opinion. I have also said to every woman of childbearing age that I was open to having a baby with that person. If you really love someone you will give them everything including a baby.
However, for those who have seen the hit movie “It’s Complicated” the whole dilemma of the younger wife wanting to conceive is beautifully played out. One scene readily comes to mind. The anti-hero arrives at the fertility clinic with his new wife and the camera gently pans across the waiting room creating the confronting stereotype of buffed middle-aged men with salt and pepper hair sitting next to their barbie doll of choice ready to have their sperm counted.
The second consideration is an infant child for a man in his 50’s or 60’s is a vastly different proposition to a child fathered by a man in his 20’s or 30’s and lifestyle must be taken into account. Children change the entire dynamic of a relationship and are the test of true love. You must never commit to your relationship until you are totally committed to the reality of that life.
Do you as a 60-year-old man want to be on midnight feeding and nappy duty? Do you want 15 years of school fees at a time in your life when you may want to be relaxing and enjoying the fruits of your decades of hard work? Do you stop at one?
One of my close friends who remarried later in life had experienced not only his own worsening health but had a child who also experienced poor health. This created terrible pressures on the relationship. It is simply a lottery; you need to really consider if it is worth buying a ticket? Disease does not generally discriminate however the older you are the greater the likelihood. Health considerations and having children later in life needs to be considered.
Relationships fall apart if you do not have a mutual understanding of your own roles and responsibilities with the children. Who gets up in the night? What happens on the weekends, how much downtime do you need and how do you manage the energy of a baby and expectation of your partner when you are at a different stage in your life. These are very real topics you need to discuss before you even consider having a baby. If it is a first for both of you, you won’t know what you are in for. In my case having been a father already I knew the sacrifices that had to be made to be a good parent. Those first few difficult years were daunting, and I know can very easily change the dynamic of your relationship.
Regardless, if you love someone, you want them to feel happy and fulfilled and often having children is part of this. My only recommendation is that you need to appreciate that your romantic fantasies are often re-enforced in marketing hype. The idyllic couple, strolling along the tropical beach, arm in arm, nights of incredible passion, etc. All this is very likely to come crashing down when you have a baby and you need to be ready for this. If you are at the stage in your life where you are seeking a relationship that embodies a loving companionship, and the freedom to enjoy each other then have a good think about creating a family. In my experience, look at what you have with eyes wide open to the future. Many couples do not realise that they “have it all” and then proceed to complicate their lives. It is then too late to recreate the utopia you once had…
Never give up on love.. JD x
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JD Watt, author of the book “BURNT”; the shocking true story of a woman’s deception and a man’s broken heart, is a divorced, devastatingly handsome, affluent single 51-year-old professional. He lives in the wealthy Eastern Suburbs of Sydney Australia. He is also a blogger giving his advice on love, relationships, sex and dating from the perspective of a middle-aged guy having learnt so much from his decade long search for “the one”.
Intelligent, established, sophisticated, cultured, honest, kind, loving, generous, tall and handsome, JD is every woman’s dream.
He offers advice on relationships and how to read the signs, so you never get “BURNT”. JD believes in love and so should you. BURNT by JD Watt is available on Amazon, Kindle and online Booksellers globally. Download or buy your copy today.
JD Watt is not a psychologist or therapist; he bases his advice and opinions on his own life experience.
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